Last Reflections

So, we made it!  All the way to Jamaica and back again without any problems whatsoever!

For me, this trip was huge, and it has been by far the most influencing week any of these trips have ever had on me.  This trip meant a lot more to me than simply going away and doing some service work.  I've developed new ideas on what being a Christian is really all about, and I've re-enforced my belief in the quote Father Gomes recited from Saint Francis of Assisi during the blessing he gave us before my first workcamp with the kids here almost 7 years ago: "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words."

More than that though, this trip was a chance for me to get one last trip in with the group I've been working with the longest since I've started working at the church.  These high school seniors were in 7th grade when I first started working here in my early 20's, and I have grown far more attached to them than any other group so far.  They will all be off to college next year, and it's tough to take in the fact that I won't be seeing them nearly as much anymore.  Just writing this sentence literally brings some tears to my eyes.  Of course, I wish them infinite blessings on their journeys in the future, and I sincerely hope that I've made some sort of positive impact on their lives since they have met me. 

To the campers on the Jamaica trip:  Knowing you has been such a great fortune, and I want you to know that I love you all very much.  I look forward to hearing about your accomplishments in the future (as I know you will have many) and I look forward to transitioning from your youth minister simply into a friend as you all become adults. 

God Bless,

Jared

God's pencil

Yesterday we went to the infirmary here near St Anne's Bay. We all got a chance to sit and visit with some of the people there, and boy was there a variety of people there. Our visit was prefaced by Fr Geoff saying along the lines of, "you might get a little emotional, and you might feel something powerful...but you shouldn't be surprised because this is exactly where Jesus said we would find him."

Visiting the infirmary is a tough thing to digest, or should I say the circumstances that warrant the existence of it. Because of the poverty, this type of place seems almost like a place where people who are handicapped or injured are just put because no one knows what to do with them. The question is always brought up: what is the point of life for these people? We feel bad saying it, but there is an element of empathy for them in this because we feel bad for their situation. Most people don't want to see others in the state of being that these people are in, and because so many of them are so close to the brink of death, it almost seems logical that God should take them home...Why doesn't he?

I have been doing a lot of thinking this week, and I can't answer this question, but I've come up with my own thought: Life is full of circumstances and we must share in them. There will always be pain in the world, there will always be suffering and despair. There are those that have no choice to go through it, and there are those of us that do have that choice. But the suffering belongs to ALL of us, and we must share it. Just as Jesus died on the cross for all of us, and shared in our individual sufferings, we so must replicate that action. There is a part of that pain that one of the patients at the infirmary is going through that belongs to me, and I need to own it. And that is a value that we can retract from this situation. If God is love, then he exists within the action of this service; of course nothing is more powerful or more valuable than God himself. Sure, there is a lot of work in the world that needs to be done, but this suffering in the world can become a great and profound catalyst for an outpouring of love to those who need it. Joel Osteen once said "when the world gives us waves of grief, God gives us waves of grace", and if we believe that we are the pencils in God's hand as he is writing a love letter to the world (Blessed Mother Teresa), then we must act and share in this suffering. We must do what we can to go to the infirmaries in the world, and play with the children at the community centers, and feed the hungry as much as possible, so that we may share the suffering and the pain WITH them. Will we always be perfect? NO! Of course not! But when the time comes that we realize there is more that we might be able to do, instead of feeling bad about our shortcomings, we should embrace our humanity but still try to do more. After all, pencils need to be sharpened every now and then.

Stretching Across Time and Space

Fr. Geoff said something at a past work camp that I frequently think back to when at CHWC camps. Essentially he said that once a group comes together in Christ, that group exists forever. Although we will all head home on Saturday, and this group (the US and Canadian group that is also here) will never be reunited here on earth, we are still united in Christ every time we celebrate the Eucharist. That thought has always inspired me.

Cutting Loose, Thursday Edition

After finishing the floors, we went and played with some kids again.

On The Discovery of Neptune

In the mid eighteenth century, astronomer Alexis Bouvard was studying the planet Uranus.  With the telescopes then extant, Uranus was the furthest known planet from Earth.  Based on fluctuations in Uranus' orbit, Bouvard predicted the existence of a planet beyond the orbit of Uranus.  Years later, the planet Neptune was discovered.  Alexis Bouvard didn't need to see something to know that it existed.

Jared first asked me to chaperon a Catholic Heart Work Camp trip three summers ago.  At the time I was in what could be called a rough patch in my faith life.  Not knowing what to expect, I convinced myself that I would find answers to all of my questions that week in Maryland.

Wednesday night, at the camp, Fr. Rose led the campers in a Eucharistic adoration.  The mood in the gym was peaceful and serene.  The monstrance entered the gym, and soft music begin to play, outside of which was near total silence.  After several minutes, I began to hear scattered sniffles.  Soon, many, if not most, of those gathered in the gym were leaking tears.  Two guys, sitting in front of me, were in each other's arms, weeping profusely at the enormity of the moment.  These guys were co-captain of their high school football team.

I didn't have that moment that I was expecting in Prince Frederick.  I wasn't grabbed and shaken by God.  In some sense though, I got something equally as impactful.  I wasn't able to see God, but I was able to see the reflection of God in someone else, or two someone-elses in this case. 

It wasn't the treasure map with the "X marks the spot" that I was looking for.  What it was was the first step down a road that has lead to enormous changes in my life, particularly in my faith life, and the experiencing of things that I can't begin to describe. 

Sometimes, we can not see what we seek, but if we pay careful enough attention, we can see its ripples, as it traces a cosmic path across our lives.

Cutting Loose

Pictures of us having fun during/after our work day. We went back to Steertown to play with the children pictured.

Some More Work Pictures

Pictures of our work day today. We were pouring concrete in a community center. By hand.

Seeing Through The Glass Not At All

We were reflecting after mass tonight, and I got to thinking about people.  Apologies if the thoughts seem disjointed, but I thought it appropriate to write it down before it was forgotten.

If someone asks you; "Who are you?", the easiest answer is to give your name, and forget the question.  Sometimes, at least at Catholic Heart Work Camp, questions have deeper meanings.  As people, we are so much more than names, and jobs, and colleges or high schools.  It's like in a chemistry lab; a person isn't just a pile of carbon, oxygen and hydrogen atoms, artfully arranged.  "Who you are" is actually the collective summation of all of your life experiences.  You are a collection of bad breakups, summers spent playing in tree-houses, Christmas morning present-opening binges and broken hearts. 

When we come into a stranger's life, like we frequently do at Catholic Heart Work Camp, we only see the current product, the chemical formula of all their prior life experiences if you will.  We don't see, and can only imagine, all of what went into that person, back before even their own life began.  We walk in a door and see an old and crippled man, sitting in a shack by the road-side.  We don't see seventy plus years of life, and laughter, and love, and sorrow.  Since we don't ever see those things hidden behind the curtain, we can become frustrated by some of their actions, or their words.

Even harder to understand, for me, is that we don't experience all of what goes into our own friend's lives.  We tell ourselves that since we are close with so-and-so, that we know each and every one of those inputs that makes our friends who they are.  But we don't.  We may see the big breakups, and you are there for the summer afternoons playing in tree-houses; but even to those we call closest, much of their lives are shrouded in darkness.  St. Paul said, in speaking of the mystery of God, that we "see through a glass, darkly".  With our friends, sometimes, we see through that glass not at all.  The human heart builds its own walls, higher and broader than any that man could build. 

Tomorrow, hopefully, I will step outside of my usual habits, and imagine all the things that have shaped those I deal with, and to try and be more patient with those I can not possibly understand.

Sigh... I got caught singing

Second house

Yesterday

So, apparently last night's spoons game wore me out. Here's a little update from yesterday:

The morning was pretty awesome. Compared to other camps, we don't have to wake up as early, so everyone is definitely enjoying that part. After breakfast, we broke into a couple of groups and went out to work. Matt's group did some scraping, and m group was focused mostly on painting.

Before we even got to the worksite, and actually before we even got to the road, we were all surprised to see the group of people waiting outside the villas that we were staying at. They were standing there hoping to get some work for the day. A lot of us have seen things on tv about this, but the reality of actually seeing it in person was a bit overwhelming. Of course, we totally forgot about it when we finally got to the neighborhood that we were working in and saw such worn-down homes. The fact is though, in the states, we wouldn't even call these structures homes. They were more like broken-down and neglected sheds.

Our first resident was someone who went by the name Mr. Light. He was an old fella who lived alone. He was clearly poor, but to add to that, Bart made a wonderful comment in our evening discussion that Mr. Light looked like he was alone most of the time. He didn't have anyone to really be around, and there was a more profound poverty in that than in the simply lack of money that he had. There is a video below of the house and the work that we did on his house.

The second house that we worked on was roughly the same size, maybe 10 x 12 feet, and it housed a young pregnant woman and four of her kids. For me it was a treat, because the kids were roughly the same age as my daughter, whom I miss so much while I'm away. But in that same light, there was a distraction from me being able to fully enjoy being around them, and the initial catalyst for that was when I saw the bed inside. It immediately hit me that they must all be sleeping in that same bed...the five and soon six of them. Anyone who is a parent knows how amazingly gifted children are at taking up space in the bed when they come in and are scared of the dark or something. Not only did this woman have four kids, but she is currently pregnant. I started to ruminate and think about every other aspect of parenting and how hard this all must be for her. My heart simply poured out for her and the billions of people in the world in her situation. Again, a video of her small home will be posted below or above. Her house was placed upon a ledge that has an amazing view of the ocean.

After mass, our group met together in one of the villas to share our highs and lows of the days, with an added component of what we did with the lows when they happened. There was nothing superficial about any of the comments that I heard. Everyone had something amazing to contribute about their day. Fr Geoff and John the musician joined in our conversation and because of them being there there was definitely an added component. I want to get into this part of our night a little more, but breakfast is almost ready and I can't be late!

The last part of our night included some music and some games of spoons. Lots of fun!

Late Night Spoons

Round three of Spoons, played with straws, which would make it not Spoons at all... #deepthoughts

Early Morning Slamwich

A back and forth Slamwich game at 7AM.

Some Pictures from Monday

My group was at the Grace Community Center today, scraping and painting.

Add On To Jared's Thoughts

Fr. Geoff mentioned something tonight, in the homily referenced by Jared. He said "You all came a long way physically, at least try to be here spiritually." It reminded me of a saying, commonly (but falsely) attributed to St. Francis; "It is useless to walk to our preaching if our walking is not our preaching." I myself find it so hard to "be a Christian" all the time, especially when we find ourselves in stressful situations. Hopefully this week, we can find ways to let our walking be our preaching, both at work sites and at home.

Check us out free stylin'

Bringing Sunday to a close

Well, after some time at the beautiful private beach here at our small villa community, and after the amazing dinner that some local women made for us, and after the Canadian group finally arrived after their long trip to Jamaica, we went to mass at a local church here. The church was small but perfect for our group size. With the camp musician, John, behind the guitar, Fr. Geoff Rose took to the alter and celebrated a really nice mass.

The gospel reading this weekend was about Jesus being tempted by Satan. Fr. Geoff mentioned a really interesting point: the devil didn't tempt Jesus with his weaknesses (he doesn't have any), he tempted him with his strengths - compassion. 'You deserve to eat... You haven't for so long....' Ad he was right, but it was in a sense cheating his way around the point. ((This is a very short description of the night... I'm butchering this but trying not too!)

He told us about a girl who actually punched him at this camp years ago when she saw the place where we will be working this week saying "how could you take me here?" as if she closed her eyes and didn't see this place, then it wouldn't exist. He urged us all to experience these things that might hurt us (seeing the poverty and tough lives that some of the Jamaicans live here) and take that challenge and act on it. It won't be easy, and it was a perfect turnaround to his closing comments: the cross that Jesus CHOSE to bear for us, and that action of complete love can be use to take refuge in and to share in that suffering.

We will have these experiences, and we will carry them forever. My hope as the leader of this group is that these experiences can be an ever-filled well for these teens to pull from, and to forever use to be more empathetic towards those who are less fortunate...and of course to act in love instead of closing their eyes.

Video test

The Amigos At The Beach

It's A Tough Life

Offering it up...

The Group In Orlando

After a one hour delay for de-icing, we took off for Orlando. Here is (most of) the group in the terminal. Our flight to Montego Bay departs in thirty minutes.

Bus Ride

Bus ride from Montego Bay to Ocho Rios. Look at that handsome guy in the shades...

Just in the nic of time

I am writing this blog mostly for those who wish to keep up with our adventures as a group.  I expect that some of these posts will be simply 'check-ins', but some will be stories about our travels and experiences.

We started off the day meeting at Saint Eulalia Parish at 4:30 a.m.  I checked everyone's passport and headed into the church for the traditional 'before picture' of all the participants (below).  For the most part, everything went off without a hitch.  We DID get to the airport with little amount of extra time, and we used it all up checking out bags in and handling a small boarding pass debacle.  Despite the fact that  the boarding pass issue made me a little worried at first, it wasn't the biggest blood boiler that I experienced as the group leader this morning.

We did end up getting through the security line with a few minutes before boarding even  started, and of course, why not use those up as well?

"Jared, can we run to Dunkins" asked one of the students...

I hesitatingly said ok, but her response made it clear that I wasn't liking the idea.

"Will that make you to anxious?  We don't have to go..."

"As long as you get back here quickly."

Almost a big mistake.  With 5 minutes left on the clock before boarding the two students who went to Dunkins still weren't there.  I called the students.  No answer.  At the 2 minute warning the staff reiterated "we are shutting the doors in 2 minutes.  There is a flight at 8:20 that you can take."

Aaahhhhh!  I called again between arguing with the staff in hopes that it would buy me some time, all while trying to figure out which chaperone to call on the plane to let them know that they were now in charge because I would have to stay behind with these two students.  How was I going to figure this whole thing out?  We have a layover in Orlando!  Was there a flight from there to Jamaica again today?

"I'm sorry Sir, we have to close the door."

"No no no, I promise they are coming they are coming."

"SIR, we cannot wait."

And then off in the distance, the two students not realizing how close of a call this was strolled round the corner and saw my distress as I waved them on like I was the flag barer at the Daytona 500...

And then Dunkin Donuts' slogan became realized when the two immediately changed their gates from casual sloth to Jamaican Olympic track star ...'Dunkin Donuts.  We keep America running.'

Day one

I am writing this blog mostly for those who wish to keep up with our adventures as a group.  I expect that some of these posts will be simply 'check-ins', but some will be stories about our travels and experiences.

We started off the day meeting at Saint Eulalia Parish at 4:30 a.m.  I checked everyone's passport and headed into the church for the traditional 'before picture' of all the participants (below).  For the most part, everything went off without a hitch.  We DID get to the airport with little amount of extra time, and we used it all up checking out bags in and handling a small boarding pass debacle.  Despite the fact that  the boarding pass issue made me a little worried at first, it wasn't the biggest blood boiler that I experienced as the group leader this morning.

We did end up getting through the security line with a few minutes before boarding even  started, and of course, why not use those up as well?

"Jared, can we run to Dunkins" asked one of the students...

I hesitatingly said ok, but her response made it clear that I wasn't liking the idea.

"Will that make you to anxious?  We don't have to go..."

"As long as you get back here quickly."

Almost a big mistake.  With 5 minutes left on the clock before boarding the two students who went to Dunkins still weren't there.  I called the students.  No answer.  At the 2 minute warning the staff reiterated "we are shutting the doors in 2 minutes.  There is a flight at 8:20 that you can take."

Aaahhhhh!  I called again between arguing with the staff in hopes that it would buy me some time, all while trying to figure out which chaperone to call on the plane to let them know that they were now in charge because I would have to stay behind with these two students.  How was I going to figure this whole thing out?  We have a layover in Orlando!  Was there a flight from there to Jamaica again today?

"I'm sorry Sir, we have to close the door."

"No no no, I promise they are coming they are coming."

"SIR, we cannot wait."

And then off in the distance, the two students not realizing how close of a call this was strolled round the corner and saw my distress as I waved them on like I was the flag barer at the Daytona 500...

And then Dunkin Donuts' slogan became realized when the two immediately changed their gates from casual sloth to Jamaican Olympic track star ...'Dunkin Donuts.  We keep America running.'